Pray About It: My Journey to Mental Wellness

Author: Ashley Wilson

I’ve struggled with mental health my entire life, but only in recent have I come to accept that as something that is both REAL and NORMAL

I was raised by the most loving, family-oriented and God-fearing woman there is. She was simple, humble and committed to loving and raising her family to be safe, believers, and good stewards over all they were blessed with. That said, as a Black woman born in the early 1900’s, she didn’t have the luxury of considering her mental health as she moved through life. She was a single mom from the South, raising two children in a time where being Black wasn’t safe, and you certainly weren’t privy to the same opportunities as others. You had to hold your head high, work hard, and when things got tough: trust in God.

This way of coping and managing life was passed down through the generations, and not just in our family. I suspect (and know) that many Black families have had the same experience: a strong matriarch or patriarch who taught you to rely on God for all your trials and tribulations.

So then here I am: age 12. Age 15. Age 18. Age 21 - struggling to get through life and weighed down by depression, anxiety and feelings of self-loathing. I was raised to believe in God and have faith, but for whatever reason all of those teachings weren’t enough to dig me out of the holes of despair and hopelessness I found myself in. I know I was deeply loved by my family, but when it came to acknowledging depression and mental illness I was also deeply misunderstood, and sometimes invalidated.

Deep down I longed for a therapist. I was eager to try medication, but I felt an internal struggle in doing so - knowing it wasn’t something that was traditionally acceptable in my family. Like many, I felt like if I couldn’t turn to God to get everything resolved, I wasn’t doing enough. I love(d) God and wanted to grow in my relationship with Him, but when depression is consuming your brain it’s hard to care about anything too much.

I’m happy to say that at some point - the narrative around mental health, especially in the Black community, began broadly shifting. People began recognizing the need for mental health resources and the fact that they don’t necessarily negate your spirituality or faith. With the support of my mother, who was on her own journey, I began exploring medication and therapy. My current regimen includes medication and therapy AS WELL AS bible study, worship and prayer. Mental health is a journey, and things aren’t perfect, but I feel much more at peace with how I am choosing to balance my faith in God with my need for a little help here on earth.

Now, I’m even more excited, to see the start of a movement like Novel, where there is a dedicated space for achieving this balance. Finally, For those who are just starting, or still hesitant, I wanted to leave you with some affirmations tips for beginning this journey:

• Make use of the credible resources that are available 

  • Dr. Caroline Leaf

  • Rachel Hollis

  • Marshawn Evans Daniels

  • Transformation Church (Pastor Michael Todd)

  • Subscribe to Novel

• Re-evaluate your community (which can include your church)

  • It’s okay to consider another church (we can be used to staying in the same church forever just because family were members)

  • Explore some online (and-in person) communities that focus on mental health and wellness

  • Start a small group bible study with friends/co-workers who are in the same space

• Continue to pray and journal daily

• Talk your doctor a licensed mental health professional (even if you are having a good day - make an appointment)

• Consider the following verses

  • “For I know the plans that I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope” (Jer. 29:11)

  • “ Do not rejoice over me, O My enemy. Though I fall I will rise; though I dwell in darkness, the Lord is a light for me.” (Mic 7:8)

  • “You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1Pet 2:9)

  • Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrew 11:1)